Monday, September 3, 2007

People Who Refer to Similies as Metaphors...

...need to sign up for a frontal labotomy stat kthx. There are very few things that grind my gears, but when someone comes out with "C'mon man you are slower than molasses on codiene" and the reply is "heh, nice metaphor", it just proves that many people are careless with the English language. Do they simply not grasp the concept of semantics? Or is it just that the word 'metaphor' sounds much cooler than the word 'similie'? On reflection, metaphor is a pretty cool word... I mean you can add 'meta' to the front of any word and it would sound cooler. Metaverse, metafiltering, metacrawl, metadata, metawhore.... ok maybe not that last one. It would be an interesting concept... a prostitute who continually refers to herself... particularly during the act... although such people are generally refered to as talkers and should be avoided at all costs.

Anyway back on topic, being difficult as I am currently distracted by brilliant guitar riffs and licks which are assaulting my eardrums like a Mongolian hoard against the Great Wall of China (pop quiz: was that a similie or a metaphor?), people really need to ensure that they have a thorough understanding of a word before they start throwing it all over the shop. It is much easier to use a similie, because it is a direct comparison. "it disappeared LIKE a fart in the wind... he's going LIKE a house on fire... she's like a tiger!" Notice the key word in there? Yep! Now onto metaphors... "All the world's a stage... she's such a cow... life's a bitch..." THOSE are metaphors people! Referring to something that it isn't, but makes sense in context, is a metaphor! So, think before you spew words from your cake hole like a righteous nun on a bender. (Count em, 2 metaphors and 1 similie in the same statement! I have more metaphors than you can poke a stick at! Whoops- there goes another one!)

Anyway enough ranting about the English language, and let's move on to LOLcats.

Actually I have nothing to say about LOLcats except they are awesome. It just seemed like a good thing to end the post on. Seeya!

Answers to the pop quiz: It was a similie, dumbass.