Monday, September 17, 2007

And verily I do return to mine domicile.

... without ritalin, and with many a story of adventure... and a brain with a somewhat alarmingly growing pile of suicided braincells. I conclude that my braincells are indeed 'pussys' and should learn how not to be classified as 'lightweights'.

It is here that I will post extreme kudos to the people who I consider to be my friends (who may or may not still see me as their friends, after the enebriated antics of this particular octopus).
Special mentions must go out to the following though;

Cariad - Thanks for trying to kill me with jagerbombs and for dancing with me like no one was watching ;)

Dylan - Thanks for trying to finish Cariad's job by feeding me Black Russians, sorry to inform you, but you failed. I'm very much alive (although was mostly dead on Sunday).

James - You're so much fun, sorry if Cariad and I freaked you out on the dance floor ;) we'll make a groover out of you yet!

Ben - Great to meet you, and thanks for saving us from the waitress spittle; although I'm beginning to think the spittle would have been nothing in comparison to the damage that music was doing to my head (or was that the alcohol, I can't be too sure).

Scotty and Kurt - Seriously, you guys could have waited till later in the night to get your groove on... (I'm not talking about dancing either).

Tom - For not deserting me a second time ;) (Even though I'd have probably ran miles if I was my friend too!! )

There is probably more people who are Kudos worthy, but I have to satisfy that female element inside of me that has an insatiable appetite for all things drama related.

The chicken was extremely nice and it is with great pleasure that I am able to inform you all that I managed to make it through the dinner on Saturday night without attracting a "dinner badge".
Urban Dictionary defines "Dinner Badge" as:
Dried stains of kebab juice, curry sauce or gravy all over your shirt from messy eating.
And to use in context, "That's an impressive dinner badge you've got there. What did you eat, pizza?"
I would be suprised if there was not a secret bet going on between attendees as to whether or not Miss ~K~ would be unco enough to be wearing a Dinner Badge or two by the end of the night - I'd say congratulations to whoever won the bet, but it is likely that not one of the fifty or so attendees would have voted against me collecting one. Or more than one.

Oh ye of little faith!

I've chosen to fish something out of my inbox to end this entry with, many of you have probably seen it before, but it still makes me smile. Enjoy ;)

EVER WONDER where we are headed...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click start to stop Windows XP?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?


In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Now as for the many stories of adventures from the weekend, I'm in the process of writing a detailed account of as much hillarity as I can remember, which I will post on my personal blog space - will let you guys know when its posted and ready for your critical eyes.

While you wait for that, you may like to check this out ;)
Click Here. (Turn up speakers first...)
Signing off, for now, - Miss ~K~ xx.